Tuesday, November 18, 2014

The missing part of my soul during holidays

This time of year floods my mind, my heart, and my soul.  So many emotions from the very high to the very low.  I know part of it is reflection of what will never be again and part of is just so much thankfulness of God and his plan.  The plan that I don't get sometimes but I know in my heart it is a beautiful, marvelous plan that is so far from what I can capture in my mind.  I am thankful of so many things but in my soul, I will be honest it is a sadness that sometimes just makes my eyes flood with tears and loneliness that would stop me in my tracks if not for God.  This time of year I really have to cling to him.  I have to be faithful in believing his promises and intentional about my thankfulness. 
The sadness isn't just about Ej not being here, even though I am sure that it is a big part of it.  I am sad for the ones that have never had anyone to make them feel loved and cherished.  The ones that are alone everyday and holidays just intensifies that loneliness a million times over.
To be quiet honest I believe that even on my most joyous holidays I have had that sadness in my soul at the holidays, but I don't think I knew what is was.  I know that I have been blessed with much more then I could ever imagine or even deserved.  I believe that God knows that loneliness with drive me to help others during the holidays.  To not be a commercial Christmas but to be a Christ Christmas.  To smile, to love, to be thankful to show someone that no matter the circumstance that they are cherish and loved.  Cherished and loved by God.  The one that we want to be cherished and loved by.  My prayer is that even if it is just one person, that I touch this holiday that I touch them with the light of God.  I long for the missing part of me to be filled here on earth like it will be in heaven.  I believe that God wants us to have that heavenly realm here on earth.  That all of us walk in the Joy of the Lord.  The joy of the Lord has nothing to do with our circumstance but everything to do with who God is..  Be kind this holiday season...Be Christ like....Meet someone at the well and I will do the same...Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas to all of you.  My beautiful friends and family...You are loved:)

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