It is just the little things

This morning at church as people was coming into the sanctuary, Jack and I had already got seated.  I looked over and started to say something Jack when I seen him intently starring at someone or something and I knew it was big. So as my eyes moved to the direction of what he was starring I saw our associate pastor standing and talking to his son. But at that very moment Dennis (the associate pastor put his hands around his sons collar and fixed his collar.  At that moment Jack did not have to say anything I already felt his pain.  It is always there but there is some moments, especially the little things that are hard.  I knew at that moment Jack wanted to fix Ej's collar but he could not and at that moment I was heartbroken for us.  I was heartbroken for Jack for not having Ej and I was heartbroken for me for not having my husband and my son to watch them together.  As church started and the praise band got up to play and I sat there watching Josh (the associate pastor's son) play the guitar (which is what Ej played)  I could not help but think it is the small things in life that hit you like a ton of bricks.  It is the small things in life that has the greatest impact.  Yesterday on our way home with the grand sons our oldest grand son started talking to siri on his I phone. He had me and grandpa laughing so hard. And I know that is something that Jack and I will remember for all our life.  Anyway it dawned on me in church that must be how God is with us. That it is not the big grand things that we do (because that is usually for our gratification) but the small things.  The things like saying thank you God for who you are.  To make God just rare back and laugh at us. Even though sometimes I am really bad about wanting so badly to understand, I read his word and it says his ways are not our ways.  Or our ways are not his ways.  But even when it is hard and it makes me cry for the reminder of the day I am thankful for all the little things that we got to share with Ej.  Because all those little things has gave us so much joy. Even as hard as it was to watch Dennis and Josh, we are so thankful for the love between a father and son. It's just the little things that catch us off guard and reminds us that God is here to catch us when we are falling.  We are so very blessed for all that we have.  We are so very blessed to call our pastor our friend.  Josh plays in the praise band sometimes and we so are so blessed to watch him offer music to God.  Even though Josh does not know it, we have talked about how we love to see him in the praise band.  My hope is that Ej is playing in the praise band in heaven and that every now and then God reaches around him and fixes his collar.  After all it is the little things!