I have really been inspired by friendships lately. I wish that all the world could get that material things are just temporary and that true friends are not something that you can buy or sale.
This really got me thinking about friendships a couple of weeks ago, when my friend Tracy Simmons came to have coffee in the potting shed. We literally sat in the potting shed for three hours, just talking, eating pumpkin roll that Tracy had brought (which was awesome by the way) and hanging out. No TV, no distractions, no spending money. The highlight was the fire was going and it was just plain nice and simple.
It could be my age and how I understand now that I am not going to be laying on my deathbed thinking, oh if I could have one more trip to the mall or I wish I would have bought that coach purse. I know that we all have different interest and that is what makes the world go around. But, I promise if I had one wish to make, it would be that all my friends and friends to be would just come and have coffee with me. I love to talk about God, I love to hear about your family, I love to share stories of the past. I guess I just love to make memories! The second request would be no politics please. But I would be more than happy to pray for our leaders. (that one is for you Norma...lol)
It really has reminded that I want to be a better friend. I want my friends and family to know that I always have time for you. I want my friends and family to know that they are welcome at my home anytime. I want my friends and family that all things are possible with God. I want my friends and family to know that what does my heart good is a great conversation with you.
If you want to spend anything on me..I ask that you spend your time and I would love to spend my time with you...You are welcome here...hugs!
Monday, November 26, 2012
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
I get the feeling that this blog might be a little difficult, but I feel like I need to write. I really can't explain what brings on days like today and I try to figure them out. I know that Jack and I have come a really long way, but no matter how far I go and how I trust God and his plan, it doesn't help the fact that I flat out miss j. Ej to most, but I always called him j.
I promise it lights my world up when someone mentions his name. I know that sometimes our friends and family don't speak his name because they are worried it will upset us by reminding us that he is gone. But believe me when I say we do not have to be reminded. I actually am amazed that I can have a business meeting, fix dinner, do church activities, do laundry, have a conversation with 10 people at the same time and Ej never leaves my mind. He is always there, always present, always past, just there. Sometimes it is just nice to know that others remember who j was or who he is. Even on days like today, I love for someone to tell a story about him.
And honestly sometimes I can hear his voice saying "mom, don't be sad because I am great, I am with God". I work so hard to honor his memory. I know that is a privilege that I love and that I am so blessed to get to be able to carry his honor.
I promise it lights my world up when someone mentions his name. I know that sometimes our friends and family don't speak his name because they are worried it will upset us by reminding us that he is gone. But believe me when I say we do not have to be reminded. I actually am amazed that I can have a business meeting, fix dinner, do church activities, do laundry, have a conversation with 10 people at the same time and Ej never leaves my mind. He is always there, always present, always past, just there. Sometimes it is just nice to know that others remember who j was or who he is. Even on days like today, I love for someone to tell a story about him.
And honestly sometimes I can hear his voice saying "mom, don't be sad because I am great, I am with God". I work so hard to honor his memory. I know that is a privilege that I love and that I am so blessed to get to be able to carry his honor.
But the reality is that I am here and he is there. It is a catch 22 to have one child here and one child in heaven. And speaking of that Tiffany has been the most awesome daughter ever. She stood on the sidelines for at least 2 to 3 years waiting for her mom and dad to come back. She never complained, she never said what about me, I am still here. She never turned her grief over to us. She carried that grief of her brother that she loved and then I know she felt like for awhile she lost not only her brother but her mom and dad. But slowly her dad and I found our way back to this place, and I know we are not the same mom and dad that left with Ej, but it was our love for Tiffany, Carson and Kade that made us want to come back.
I really don't know where this going. I just thought it was a good time to help you help others that have lost their child. Speak often of Ej or anyone that has lost a child, share memories, because that is what keep them alive, tell funny stories, tell serious stories. Just sometimes say I want you to know that I think of Ej often. I know I did not come back on my own. We have a God that is in the healing business as much today as yesterday and tomorrow. That same God gave us friends and family. Use your authority that God gave you. And if you don't know what to say to me sometimes, just speak Ej's name..That will help more than you will ever know. I do love my friends and family but I REALLY LOVE THE GRACE OF GOD.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
I am just passing through!
What gives me peace is that I know that I am a visitor here. This is not my final home and for that I am so thankful. It took me a really long time to get this. I use to be so caught up in the next 10 years, the next 5 years and the next 5 days. But really that all changed when we lost Ej. Now I just usually say thanks God for getting me this far.
I have been ask several times "how did you and how do you go on when you lose a child". Please understand that I don't say this lightly, I believe this with all that I am. I go on because of the Grace of God. Maybe that is why I try not to get so emotional about politics. But I also understand that a lot of people do not look at this temporary home like I do. And please don't take that wrong because if not for the lose of Ej, I don't think I would have understood the whole temporary home, journey thing.
I do believe we are required to pray for our leaders. I still believe that prayers can go alot further than votes. I have seen with my faith eyes what God can do. I really do not know the heart of anyone. That includes our politicians. But you know what is really awesome? God knows the heart of all of us. I am thankful for that even though I have to repent more than I would like to admit. But what is great, is that God is in control and he has given us the right to live in America, which for those that have been to third would countries know that it is a blessing to live here. (I feel like the music should be playing in the background, America the beautiful) I would like for all of us to take our grumbling time and turn into prayer time. I don't think it would matter who became our leaders, we would still need to pray for our country. Let us just remember who the king is!
I have been ask several times "how did you and how do you go on when you lose a child". Please understand that I don't say this lightly, I believe this with all that I am. I go on because of the Grace of God. Maybe that is why I try not to get so emotional about politics. But I also understand that a lot of people do not look at this temporary home like I do. And please don't take that wrong because if not for the lose of Ej, I don't think I would have understood the whole temporary home, journey thing.
I do believe we are required to pray for our leaders. I still believe that prayers can go alot further than votes. I have seen with my faith eyes what God can do. I really do not know the heart of anyone. That includes our politicians. But you know what is really awesome? God knows the heart of all of us. I am thankful for that even though I have to repent more than I would like to admit. But what is great, is that God is in control and he has given us the right to live in America, which for those that have been to third would countries know that it is a blessing to live here. (I feel like the music should be playing in the background, America the beautiful) I would like for all of us to take our grumbling time and turn into prayer time. I don't think it would matter who became our leaders, we would still need to pray for our country. Let us just remember who the king is!
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